That’s all I’ve got to lose before I hit 3 stone down since January. Four sodding little pounds. Do you know how frustrating that is when you lost 7 in the first week of your diet?! 

Now I face an internal dilemma for the next 11 days. The constant ease to resort to the “but I’m on holiday so the calories don’t count” excuse. I’ve already used it tonight when preparing my dinner…

“Macros don’t matter on holiday, I’ll just fill up on carbs. I had a protein shake this morning so it’s fiiiiiine…” 

I can’t do this for the next week and a half, but it’s also going to be so hard to control what I’m eating when I’ll be spending 75% of my time eating out, and being unable to scrutinise the nutrional information on labels for everything I’m thinking of eating.

I’ve already been on the McDonalds website in preparation for breakfast tomorrow, and I’ll admit I threw up a little bit when I found out just what I used to put in my body. 

As excited as I am to be going on holiday, at the same time I’m so afraid that I’ll relapse and set myself back again with my weightloss. That the new clothes I’ve just treated myself to that are 3 dress sizes smaller will be snug or won’t fit when I come back from my holiday. That I’ll end up not losing at all and possibly, the even worse possibility, gaining back some of the pounds I’ve worked hard to lose.

I’m genuinely terrified.

I guess this is just what it’s like when you’re making a lifestyle change rather than a fad diet. When you’re so used to a set routine and set meals that the thought of change scares you. I’ve even contemplated packing the scales and bringing them on holiday with me because I hate the idea of not being able to monitor myself… But I suppose the tape measure fits in my handbag! I was the girl who was always ‘allergic’ to exercise at school and now I’m genuinely going to miss my swimming. I’m going away for a week for fucks sake. 

So here it goes, the holiday that might set me back. I can’t wait to get away, but I’m also slightly scared at what it might bring.

Wish me luck.